It's a perplexing mystery as to the reasoning behind ones optimism even at times of inevitable failure. A vicious cycle it may be, to be in a state of idealism, awaken by bitter reality,
time and time again. What is most hindering isn't necessarily the bitter reality itself, rather the inability - as relentless as it may seem - to identify recurring patterns of failure which
may lead one toward rectifying behaviour. Each and every circumstance which called for an essential sense of maturity had been utterly rejected by sheer stupidity - or perhaps naivety. Opportunities to take time to reflect on oneself and fix ones relationship,
despite being preached otherwise, had been utilised as a bridge to declare war. Even above (or better yet below) the turmoil of emotions and affections for the opposing end of bipolarity, there finds difficulty in overcoming self-satisfying needs to better the
communal. Such tribulations cannot be said to have been overlooked, but
can be said to have been thoroughly scrutinised and diagnosed, and concluded to be rendered useless - as a couple anyway. Without willingness and proper execution from both ends, redundancy in trying to progress - despite all desire for the opposite - creeps it's way in. This perplexing mystery is perhaps not much of a paradox and can be deciphered if considered from a perspective which acknowledges and understands motivation to persist stemming from genuine
belief in you. A few more spins of the wheel of vicious cycle and we'll be at the finish line. We both are clear in our minds about the origins of this blog entry's inspiration, so let neither of us continue denial. It is being a bit ambitious to suggest that this war-like outcome wasn't expected, but I understand. I once made a
commitment to you that I'd do my best to tolerate your wrong doings. A commitment which sparked from a sense of undying potential. For my own morals sake, and for our sake, I'll give it my all til the very end :)
But we're counting on you as well.
Let's not lose sight, I'm trying not to.
